I'm so not crafty....Halloween Part Two

If you know me, you know that you can give me a pair of scissors, a needle and thread, a bunch of material, an old washcloth, and some scotch tape and I won't know what in the hell to do with it. My sister-in-law could probably turn it into a prom dress. My friend Charlotte could probably make a blanket, without even using the scotch tape. I just don't know what to do. I'm not crafty. I WANT to be crafty in the worst way but alas, it's apparently not where my gifts were bestowed. Somewhere the patron saint of Martha Stewart and Heloise, and Paula Dean took a look at my infant form and said, "Nope, not happening."

And despite all of this, I decided that this year I was going to make my kids Halloween costumes. I was tired of buying cheap character crap at the store and dangnamit, I was going to MAKE them the most kickass kids costumes EVER.

Yup.

Good thought.

I started buying materials in September, when my obviously addled brain gave birth to this grand plan. And then it sat. And sat. And it sat some more. Skippy would occasionally nudge a pile of tulle or kick around an old straw hat that I scavenged from the thrift store for a quarter and raise his eyebrows at me. To which I gave my patented response - a slightly put-out and cranky "I'm GONNA DO IT!" (And I wonder where my kids get it.)

Anyway, when last week rolled around I figured I'd better get moving. To my credit, Kbear's costume was already done - I had bought her butterfly wings (I'm not THAT crafty) and made her an adorable matching tutu and found black leggings and a leotard and she was good to go. It was Banana's costume that had me concerned.

A scarecrow. How hard could it be?

Ok, it's not so much that it was HARD, it's just that I am a complete costume making novice. I took an old hula skirt, an old pair of overalls, and a pair of scissors and went to town with needle and thread. Several hours of blood sweat and tears later, I had the legs done and sore pinpricked thumbs. Said thumbs then necessitated a trip to Jo Ann Fabrics, where I bought two rolls of my new-un-crafty best friend, Stitch Witchery. It's this wonderful gift from the crafty Gods that allows you to iron any two fabrics together. I was sold. I pulled out my iron, dusted it off, and went to town, fusing cotton to straw and then attaching old cotton patches cut from overgrown play clothes and and black "crow feathers" all over the place. Once I added the glue gun to my arsenal, it was all over.

When I was all done, I had two pretty darn cute freaking costumes:





















And what of the Chunk you may ask? What wonderful handmade costume did I concoct for him? Well......I'm afraid that it's true what they say about the third child. You really do kind of get over the whole baby thing. I mean, when Banana was born we were allllllll about "Her First Halloween!" OH! It's HER FIRST HALLOWEEN! It was a big deal. Kbear got the hand-me-down costume two years later, and about two thirds of the excitement. So by the time we've gotten down to the chunk, I guess it's kind of worn off. I mean don't get me wrong, I still totally get that it's his "FIRST HALLOWEEN" but I'm not in such a fervor to make sure he has the perfect costume because it's not like he's trick or treating and really, I don't think they have managed to make a baby's costume yet that doesn't at some point irritate the hell out of the poor munchkin wearing it.





So he was a bee.

A totally sweet and adorable bee.

No really, doesn't he look just absolutely THRILLED?



Once we were all costumed up it was time to go trick or treating. First we attacked downtown The Dalles. With about two thousand other people. It was fun in that crazy somewhat organized chaos kind of way. We ran into friends, basked in the compliments on our adorable costumes, and engaged in what I will now call drive-by-trick or treating, where basically your kid got candy every ten steps or so because 90% of the fun and funky eclectic little shops downtown participated. It was a blast in a nutty kind of way.

Once Skippy met up with us downtown (That only took four phone calls to each other while we were standing on the same block semi-hollering over the noise "NO WHERE ARE YOU AT?") we headed back to the car and piled in to head over to Spooky's for free pizza. How cool is that? Kids under 12 with a costume get a kids' pizza and drink. Dinner? We don't need no stinkin' dinner man - we got reese cups and free pizza. And sandwiches for Skippy and myself.

Thus nourished, we trekked home where Skippy the brave combined fatherly forces with the dad next door and they took three very excited and sugar high little girls up and down the street, showing off for the neighbors and coming home with even more mad loot. Chunk and I stayed home and passed out candy here at the house, where I got dirty looks when I insisted that the junior high and high school kids actually SAY trick or treat.

And at long last, we clicked off the porch light, shucked off costumes, and dumped out our haul, which fills my HUGE wooden salad bowl. I'm doling it out slowly and whatever is left at the end will go to Google with Skippy. Of course, once we take our cut of tootsie rolls (Skippy) and Snickers bars (me) that should put a significant dent in it.

I hope everyone else had a safe and successful Halloween. Until next year!